Understanding Grief
I began working as a counselor in 1998 in Los Angeles, California. As a psychologist, I have worked with people of all ages who have grieved various losses in their lives.
In my work at Los Feliz Elementary school in Los Angeles, I worked with children from many different ethnic backgrounds including Hispanic, Armenian, Philipino, Asian and others. Many of these students came to me from war-torn countries and had suffered multiple losses in their lives. It was through the eyes of these children that I began to better understand the complexity of grief and loss.
As a clinical psychologist, I have worked with children, teenagers, adults, parents and families who manifested various symptoms and adjustment difficulties that were correlated with grief and loss. Through my work, I came to understand that each phase of the life cycle poses unique challenges and needs for intervention and healthy growth.
As a geriatric psychologist, I have worked with the elderly in community health centers as well as in nursing homes as they entered the last phase of their lives. Many of these individuals had lost spouses and/or children, were gradually withdrawing from life, and were becoming increasingly socially isolated. Most had been exposed to ever-increasing losses and had already grieved the deaths of their parents as well as some of their peers and friends. Many were mentally preparing themselves for death.
As a result of working with these individuals and coming to understand how difficult it was for many to tolerate the painful emotions of mourning and to say goodbye to loved ones, it became evident that a Registry of the lives of their loved ones was needed to assist these individuals in coping with the grieving process and to tell their life story in words, pictures and music.
Honoring Loved Ones, and Coping
Registry of Life was designed to commemorate and celebrate the lives of our loved ones who have predeceased us. A Living Registry helps with the important tasks of mourning and bereavement including commemorating the loss, acknowledging the reality of the loss, identifying and expressing the emotions of grief, and saying goodbye to those we love. The Registry of Life website also offers guidance and encouragement to the bereaved to tell their story and share their memories.
Because grieving is a complicated process that knows no time limits, a monthly newsletter on the website will offer practical and caring advice for those who are grieving. Recommended readings will also be posted each month. In addition, the Registry of Life website offers a unique feature, "Ask Dr. Dees" where you may pose and post questions and receive guidance and feedback.
Finally, I am indebted to my patients and their families, past and present, who have taught me about the incredible resilience of the human spirit, and what it means to love. I will be forever grateful for their assistance in my journey on the road to surviving death.
I welcome your feedback, questions and comments.
Dr. Wayne Dees
